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The problem with online dating is that you can’t see the person’s face when they’re telling you about themselves. I think it’s hard for guys to comprehend the world of online dating from a woman’s perspective. They then flippantly toss out all of those well thought out, carefully crafted messages from most of those poor schmucks, and then they log onto their Facebook accounts to complain to their girlfriends that there are no “good men” left in the world.
You can’t watch as they smile, and that smile spreads up into their eyes and transforms their face into one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen – a thing that warms your heart and makes you realize you want to spend more time with the person. Unfortunately, the reality is nowhere near that fantasy.
What I learned from carrying out an interview of a female and the interview of a male trying to dig into this intriguing subject was that using the Internet for dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons.
Ironically enough, if you could take the best of those women and the best of those men, and place them in a big room where they could sit at a table and ask each other questions in person – you’d probably have 4 or 5 new match-ups by the end of the night. All they have to do is get online every day, sitting on their princess throne and file through the dozens or more profiles of men who have messaged them throughout the day.
To explore this topic, I pulled aside two individuals who I knew were hunting for a long-term relationship using online dating websites, and asked them about their experiences with the services.
If done in a way that isn’t too intrusive in your schedule, this online personality will ease his way into every aspect of your day – even your lunch break and your train ride home. Find yourself obsessed and dreaming of what this amazing man will be like when you meet in person? And if he’s only twenty or thirty-something, the odds are also pretty good he hasn’t had time to become an “expert” in , by Philip Hesketh, he writes that, “People like people who show a real and genuine interest in them.
People like people who are like them.”The online player is skilled at recognizing your “likes” and making sure to convince you that he has a lot to offer you in all of those areas. What he really likes is simply the idea of getting you to agree to a first date. Yet, I still won’t claim I know everything women want. I am not proud of the games I used to play online in my younger years, just to get a date.
The last move a guy usually makes while chatting with you online will be the sexual innuendo. Ironically, I met the woman I ended up marrying at the very first social event (a college party) that I ever went to in person.
To get some insight into what women go through on these dating websites, I pulled aside one of my family members who I knew had spent some time on these sites looking for her future spouse.
By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. Ryan (RD): What year did you sign up with an online dating website and how long did you keep your account? RD: What were the majority of messages that you received from guys like? I got some commenting on my picture telling me how “hot” I was…how “good” I looked.